We all seem busier than ever before these days, living life in the fast lane. We have turned into a nation of multi-taskers. We also have turned into a procrastination nation since, for many of us, there isn’t enough time to catch up. A little procrastination won’t ruin your life, but sometimes it becomes a problem and keep you from having the life you were meant to have.
In this series, we will discuss different ways to handle our procrastination with EFT. This series is also based on a book called “EFT for Procrastination” by Gloria Arenson, MFT
Today the technique I would like to discuss is a technique called “Dear Abby.” Most people are familiar with this popular column in the newspaper growing up. People would write to “Dear Abby” and share their problem, and Abby would write back with a suggestion on what to do. The exercise suggests that you write a long paragraph to Dear Abby about what you are currently procrastinating about.
The book uses Theresa as an example. Theresa was fifty and divorced her husband of thirty years. She had been a home maker all that time and hadn’t worked. Because he was no longer supporting her, she had to find a job. She would get up every morning with the intention of looking for a job but would find many distractions that she never got around to following through. She remarked that she was too old and fat, embarrassed to go for an interview. “No one will hire me.” Her beliefs kept her sitting at home feeling depressed and stuck.
Following the exercise, she would write to Dear Abby something like follow:
I am a fifty year old who needs a job. I haven’t had to work in thirty years, and I am very nervous about fidning employment. Although I have taken a brush-up class in typing and using computers, I dont have faith in myself. I start out every day telling myself I should look for work, but watch TV for hours, talk on the phone with friends, and do everything but read the want ads or go on interviews. Sometimes I don’t even get dressed. When tey see how overweight I am, no one will want me. I don’t know how to motivate myself. Please help.
Thanks for your advice,
After the paragraph stating her problem, she would then reread her paragraph and highlight all the negative beliefs (stinkin’ thinkin’.) Then she can use EFT on each of these beliefs and change her way of thinking.
So, let us go back together and highlight some of the negative beliefs she could tap on:
I am a fifty year old who needs a job. I haven’t had to work in thirty years, and I am very nervous about finding employment. Although I have taken a brush-up class in typing and using computers, I don’t have faith in myself. I start out every day telling myself I should look for work, but watch TV for hours, talk on the phone with friends, and do everything but read the want ads or go on interviews. Sometimes I don’t even get dressed. When they see how overweight I am, no one will want me. I don’t know how to motivate myself. Please help.
Thanks for your advice,
Let’s go rewiew them. Some are very apparent like “I don’t have faith in myself”, “When they see how overweight I am, no one will want me” but what about the other two, why did I highlight them? Because they show clear SHOULDs, “I should look for work”, and although the other one doesn’t clearly say it, it is what is called a HIDDEN SHOULD. “I (should) read the want ads or go on interviews”. Now, reading your “Dear Abby” paragraph does require some detective work on your part, but after you tap on each of these beliefs holding you back, you will feel better about yourself
Going back to Theresa, after tapping on each of her negative beliefs, she felt more confident about herself. Within a short time, a friend recommended her to someone who offered her a fascinating job that she excelled at and loved doing. She didn’t have to answer any ads or go through rigorous interviews after all.
When you decide to pay attention to your thoughts and to what comes out of your mouth, you will be flabbergasted at how you create a reality that is neither reasonable nor kind. Now that you know what to look for, go write your complaints to “Dear Abby”, do your detective work, and you can tap away the negative and install a positive outlook on life. When the fears dissolve, so do the obstacles to move forward.